PETITION.ORG: Ban California

Ban California because on a map, it looks like a high capacity magazine

Haha:

Looking at the state of California, it clearly represents a high capacity magazine. California enforces a 10 round magazine limit and California clearly violates this law. The only solution to this issue is to ban California. I feel that my fellow progressive Democrats in the State Legislature will agree on this issue.

This is the most utterly ridiculous thing Murdoc’s ever heard in his entire life.

Wait.

California DOES look like a high-capacity magazine
California DOES look like a high-capacity magazine, doesn’t it?

Holy shit. There might actually be something to this.

‘The small of napalm in the evening breeze, as I crouch behind a shopping cart in the parking lot’

If you haven’t seen the tales of the mall ninja Gecko45, go check ’em out.

With action like

A perp popped up from behind the Orange Julius counter with a full auto Kalashnikov with a 75rd drum, and opened up in the direction of my partner, meanwhile two perps popped up from behind the skeeball machine with sawed off 12 gauges. Another two perps appeared on the upper level and brought down hell-fire on us from above. One had a Winchester Model 70 in .30-06 with a 10x scope and the other was laying down suppressive fire with a Mac10 variant. The perps were all sporting cheap russian NVGs.I dove under a metal bench, and lined my sights on the AK bandit.

We must keep BR55-M45 and M90A assault weapons off the street!

Some third-grader writing about the definition of assault weapons in California uses images from Rambo and (I shit you not) the Halo video game.

Assault weapons are dangerous. Just look:

Halo Weapons
Halo Weapons used for examples of 'assault weapons'

I mean, why would anyone even NEED an MA4B-APTR? Are they going to go duck hunting with an M8 SMG? Thomas Jefferson certainly didn’t have the BR55-SS in mind when he wrote the Constitution.

Hahahahahahahaha.

What an idiot. I guess this is what passes for journalism in SF Weekly.

Via Thirdpower.

As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly

A tradition over at MO, but for those of you who don’t read it regularly here is the infamous WKRP Turkey Drop:

We watched this when it first aired, and I still laugh every time I see it.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Murdoc hopes you all have a great holiday.