Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

5 Days Later

October 27th, 2009

A tale told by a former pawn shop employee in Bellingham, Washington:

(A customer in their 50s walks into my pawn shop, which sells weapons.)

Customer: “Yeah, can you get me that shotgun behind the table?”

Me: “Sure, do you have your license and registration?”

Customer: “Yeah, right here.”

Me: “Thank you sir. There’s a 5 day waiting period for firearms. Come back soon.”

(He looks disappointed, but forks over the cash and walks out. Five days later…)

Customer: “Okay, dude, I’m back. Where’s the gun?”

Me: “Right here, sir…

(I make the transaction and hand him his shotgun.)

Me: “Have a nice day and come back soon!”

(About one minute after the customer leaves the store, I hear several loud shotgun blasts. I look through the window and the man is firing rounds into the air! He then runs into the store.)

Customer: “The zombie invasion has begun! It’s every man for himself!”

(I hide under the desk and press the silent alarm. Five minutes later, the police arrive, taser the guy, and bring him out of our back room in cuffs. I work at an ice cream store now.)

It was great how the zombies delayed until the waiting period was up.

Half the Battle

October 20th, 2009

From this t-shirt, via a reader.

It burns! It burns!

October 6th, 2009

Almost as valuable as Shark-Repellent Bat-Spray:

Employee: “Hello, thank you for calling [outdoor supply store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, um…I bought some bear spray from you earlier today and now my skin is burning.”

Employee: “Your skin is burning? Did the bear spray come into contact with your skin?”

Customer: “Of course! I sprayed it all over myself!”

Employee: “Did you read the instructions?”

Customer: “No, I thought it was like bug spray.”

Employee: “Sir, you’re not supposed to spray it on your skin. You’re supposed to spray it in the bear’s eyes. You should probably go take a shower.”

Customer: “So I can’t repel the bears by putting bear spray on my skin?”

Employee: “No, sir…are you sure bear country is the right place for you?

Adapted from Not Always Right.

Space Invaders

September 22nd, 2009

Open season on invading space aliens

Via Uncle.

Canned Tactical Bacon

September 2nd, 2009

To All You Hunters: Shame On You!

August 7th, 2009

To all you hunters who kill animals for food

To all you hunters who kill animals for food

Legit? Who knows?

Teh Funny? You bet.

Nerf N-Strike Raider Rapid Fire CS-35

August 4th, 2009

Fully auto. Drum mag. Pistol grip. Collapsible stock.

About the only things this gadget is missing are a bayonet lug and a shoulder thing that goes up.

Prayer vs. Trespassing

July 20th, 2009

Sent in by a reader.

HMG on a Tractor

June 16th, 2009

Obviously for farming in a tough neighborhood.

Rummel has the pic.

Preparedness

June 5th, 2009

Not Murdoc's Locker

Not Murdoc's Locker

Via OpFor.

GunPundit.com